I like to buy old stuff. The other day, I stopped by one of my favorite thrift stores. And I found...
A cute vintage fold-over clutch.
Some wonderful old ironstone.
And it's a darn good thing I got a great deal on it ($6 for all three pieces) because the unthinkable finally happened to me right at the Good Will counter.
A very cheerful 40-ish looking man was checking me out...I mean, at the check out. You know, ringing up my purchases. In front of several other nice people who were in line, he said,
"Ma'am, will you be using the discount today?"
"Discount?" I say, " What discount?"
"Well, the 25% off discount." He seems to be getting a bit uncomfortable.
"Oh! How do I get the discount? Is there a coupon or something??" I'm excited...and at the same time, I notice that he appears to be a bit uneasy. Fidgety faltering begins as he says,
"Well, you would have to be a certain age."
Well, are you over 55?" ( I think he just might have pooped his pants because of the look on my face.)
If I didn't want that ironstone so badly, I would have smashed one of those pitchers into his smiling face.
I didn't know what to say! I could have said, yes, so I could get the 25% discount just to cover my embarrassment...my pain and suffering... but instead, I stupidly said,
"I'm only 52. Actually, I just got carded when I bought beer because they thought I looked like I was under 50! "
As soon as I got out of the store, of course I called my husband to share this terrible thing with him. "Imagine how rude! You should NEVER ask a lady if she wants a senior citizen discount! Trust me, If someone is entitled to that senior discount, they are going to ask for it! I don't even know what to think! I'm aging! Honey, tell me that I don't look like I'm 55!"
"Well, I don't know if I have anything to say about that."
NOT the right answer, dear.
So, that very night, I got out my Charla Krupp books, "How Not To Look Old" and "How To Never Look Fat Again" Come to think of it, poor Charla God Rest Her Soul died at the ripe old age of 58. I texted my brother-in-law to ask him for a prescription for Retin-A.
I almost made it out of the store before I noticed a gorgeous coral cashmere sweater and a very nice Ann Taylor skirt to re-fashion.
So I had to show my aging face again to that very clerk, who was more than apologetic and sweet to me the second time around.